Decision Making is Not My Forte

Once again I have neglected my blog. It is a good thing that my life does not depend on this or I would have died a long time ago. I feel like I am very much scattered lately. I am not really sure why but it makes the process of decision making extremely difficult. Definitely to the point that it frustrates me but alas decisions still need to be made.

I am very much aware that we make decisions every moment of every day, as I am writing this I am constantly making decisions of what to include, how to phrase different things, and how to properly portray what I would like to convey. But sometimes I wish that decisions could just be made for me. I understand that I have been given the wonderful gift of agency, the ability to be able to make decisions and act as I wish, but sometimes I wonder how much easier it would be if someone just told me what to do. Once I think of how nice it would be to have the decision making process given to someone else I remember that I would lose a lot more than that. My ability to be happy, experience joy, pure joy would also be taken from my grasps. It would be impossible, in the complete definition of that word, to be happy. I would never have experienced sorrow, therefore no joy, all the result of our choices. I would never be able to experience love, towards someone, or receiving that wonderful gift.

Maybe I can suck it up and make some pretty mediocre decisions, which in the eternal perspective is very insignificant.

I watched an interesting video today, one of those gems, the thought provoking kinds.

I don't really have much to say about it other than the fact that this is incredible. I would love a copy of it. His name is Ethan Metzger and the rest of it speaks for itself.

I am quite glad my parents "brainwashed" me.. I do not know what kind of person I would be without it. I am very grateful for the lessons I have been taught and though I do know I have many things to work on I am happy with who I have become so far - even down to the way I fold my towel.


As mentioned earlier - very scattered, as evident from my scattered thoughts.


... Oh Well.

Graitude

Today is an awesome day! 

I got a job! 

It feels like it has taken forever but our time is definitely not the Lord's time I have most certainly come to learn. It has taken me two months to get a job, and it has been very frustrating, scary, and disheartening but I finally have made it through. Tomorrow I will recieve my offical offer of employment as an administrative assistant with a government agency. I am very very grateful. 

Also, we have been having some ridiculous thunder and lightning storms. Like enough to have severe weather alerts. There are been flooding in certain parts of the city and in surrounding towns. There also have been a few funnel clouds, apparently. On Monday and also today we have had ridiculous storms. We would get freak amounts of hail, and today they were even larger than before. It's kind of scary but I quite enjoyed watching the storm from the safety of my beautiful home, wrapped in a blanket. I am so grateful for my home, for my wonderful roommates,and my heart goes out to the men, women, and children who do not have a safe warm home. I pray that The Lord will protect them, and comfort them in these terrible times. 

I will post pictures of all the exciting things, as in the crazy weather, and my latest baking creativity once I figure out how to get it to work. Sometimes I absolutely love my iPad and other times it absolutely bothers me!

Hopefully the wind and rain does not wash me away. 

Stress Releaser

You know the days when as soon as you open your eyes, or hear something you know it's not going to be an easy day? That is today.

I woke up to my Charlotte's cell phone ringing, which isn't necessarily a bad thing, but as soon as I realized I was awake I was plagued with a nasty headache. Once she left I tried to make it as dark as possible to get rid of the awful thing but alas it did not depart. 

I am starting to feel a little better after finally giving into ibuprofen. I would have preferred to do it without medication but unfortunately that wasn't the case.

See, I have this thing, where if I am in a bad mood, or upset, I like to bake. I don't know why, but that is what is going to happen. To add another little thing in there I desperately need to go grocery shopping so this will be super creative. I will definitely post a picture after to show what I came up with. 

As I am not super busy these days I will try my best to make so interesting things I have been dying to try. For instance, I would love to make the Kit Kat, M&M decorated cake I made a couple years ago. Here's how she turned out.

Heaven is Here

This is where my inspiration has come from..

nieniedialogues.com

 May you be inspired as well.

The Beginning

I have been inspired....

After finishing my lovely College diploma this past April I knew that there were going to be some big changes in my life. Unfortunately or fortunately, to be determined, they are not the changes I first thought. I expected there to be the transition into the workforce, going to work every day, doing something I have learned about and enjoyed. Then I started to plan the transition into planning healthier meals and a regular fitness routine to fit with my new lifestyle. Finally I thought of, I hate to say it but slightly, the change in my progress as a Daughter of God and my goal to be more like my Saviour. Apparently I had mistaken the changes that I was anticipating and definitely did not have them in order or the magnitude that they should have organized themselves in.

I don't know about everyone else but I felt like my whole life everyone would tell me how smart and talented I was. That conversation would always lead to, "You definitely won't have any problem finding a job." For me, that was not the case. After graduating I was staying with my brother and sister in law, hoping to find a job before getting a new place. Apparently I must have looked pretty good on paper as I had managed to get several interviews. I felt like I must have been on track and that eventually I would hit the hot job. Unfortunately that has not been the case. Job after job, something would come up and they weren't hiring anymore or after saying they would call me back they wouldn't. I was getting very discouraged, I didn't know what I was doing wrong and why things weren't working out for me.

Fortunately for me I have a wonderful family. They are such a great support. My brother and sister in law never made me feel like I was unwanted there, but knew I would be much happier living with my friends. So they helped me find a place and had things worked out.

So here I am, day after day, trying to get a job. Sitting at home, watching a lot of Netflix. One day, my wonderful roommate Charlotte, as I will refer to her, came to me and said, "You are cut off from Netflix today, you need a new hobbie." I told her I loved to read but that I didn't have any books at the moment that interested me. She went to her bookshelf we have in our room and pulled out a book, throwing it on my bed. She briefly explained what it was about, and I recognized the general story. That day while everyone was at work I started the book.

I read...

.......and read

..................and read.

After about two days or so, I finished the book. I can honestly say, without a doubt, that it has changed my life.

The book I read was titled, "Heaven is Here," written by Stephanie Nielson. She writes of her life, completely factual, as she meets her incredible husband, has children, and the horrific story of how she was in a plane accident, resulting in burns covering 80% of her body. The book shares an example of absolute true love, faith, courage, family, and recovery. I have never been so moved by an individual's story as I have with hers. She is an absolutely incredible woman. Her blog, nieniediaologues.com , shares her life from 2005, when she first started blogging, through the time of her accident in 2008, and through her recovery, up until the present day.

I have heard the phrase, "a change in heart", numerous times but have never really understood it. From the time I started reading her book and then finished it I can say that I have had a change in heart. I felt so much joy, and my feelings of gratitude have become greater than I have ever known.
This past week after finishing the book I have been happier than I have in a very long time. I pray to my Father in Heaven very often. I talk to Him when I think of something I am grateful for, when I am worried about things or when I think of someone else that is in need. I also have never been a big journaler, I wished I was but when I look at past journals they were always so negative. I can say that I love writing in my journal. I absolutely love it. I don't understand why, but I just write down everything I am thinking and it helps to calm my thoughts and  understand what I am thinking. I study my scriptures every day without fail. I was absolutely terrible at that a week ago but now I look forward to it. I feel like a new person.

I absolutely love this new person. I read a quote the other day and I feel like it fits my new perspective on life. 

"I can't change the direction of the wind, but I can adjust my sails to always reach my destination."

-Jimmy Dean

After reading the quote I was thinking about my new self. I had realized that the person I was person was not progressing in the way I would have liked. I had written in my journal a couple months ago the following:

"Seriously, what am I doing with my life? I have no idea what I am doing anymore."

I was struggling and I didn't know what I was doing. I was not adjusting my sails to reach my destination. I was allowing the current to take me wherever it wanted and then I was upset with myself when I wasn't headed in the right direction. 

This blog will be dedicated to my life, featuring my friends, family, and obviously me, but most importantly it will, hopefully, showcase the small bits of adjusting that I will do to make sure I am heading in the right direction. I can honestly say that blog posts will never be this long, and I hope to post recipes and cool crafty ideas I have found. 

I hope that I can be as or even a little inspiring as Stephanie Nielsen has been to me through her book and blog. 

What a beautiful thought.